my bucket list.

-go to regina on the 15th 
-party with my friends for a week
-go to have heart on the 22nd
-never come home (….)

thank you carter chambers. even though my bucket list doesn’t involve trips to all corners of the world in my friends private jet, it does involve a trip to regina on my employers jet, and a westjet. and since my bucket list is only for fun, im not planning to croak immediately after. sorry bud.

rip

kurtis,

inspired by nics grid blog of the 50 best tunes of all time, i have been working on my own version. i am about to give up, convinced that its not really possible to pick just 50 songs. of the 4000 plus songs on my itunes, i was able to pick 21 that would no doubt be on it. the rest could probably be changed daily depending on my mood, or even the weather.

im going to keep working on it. ill let you know if it ever gets finished.

i work 12 hour shifts. i am in the middle of a 4 hour paid lunch break. not bad hey?

i got myself a new phone a couple weeks ago. here is an embarrassing fact that i don’t need to share but will anyway – i probably use it more to text then talk. i used to get annoyed at people who did that. but free texting is cheaper then a long distance plan. so cram it.

im sick of winter. 

i complain that its to cold. but i feel bad letting the truck warm up for half an hour in the morning before i go to work because i also think global warming is an issue. al gore is a real prick.

lost season premier was last week. im already confused.

there was a cool sunrise this morning. if i knew how to get pictures from my phone to my computer, id show you.

im 21 tomorrow.
a year ago today i was in 90 mile beach, and had to catch a overnight bus to melbourne. i also got a serious sliver in my foot walking to the beach, and ate a really good cinnamon bun.
im only celebrating 8 more birthdays after tomorrow. screw turning 30. the thought makes my stomach turn a bit. 

thomas labunga is a dirt bag.
170.000 americans lost their jobs in january. 50,000 today.
that sucks.

gridblog so far has some moneen, jew, anberlin, hopesfall, mis sigs, beloved, hot water music….

what comes to mind when looking back at the last year.

australia
grandma
joel and darla
road trips
friends
family 

my year started in australia. a bit different from where i am now.

my grandma passed away. still doesn’t feel real, trying to swallow the pill.

my brother married darla. a good thing.

driving around bc. sweet times in the rain, and on the ocean. wingin it.

friends. the best part of life.

family. i got a good one.

i cant explain it. exhausting and rejuvenating. a solid beating of the mind and heart. a lot to think about. a lot to reflect on. a lot to smile about. a lot to forget about. a lot to remember. a lot learned. a lot to be learned. eyes opened.

embracing but no abusing today.
remembering but not stuck in yesterday.
ready but not waiting for tomorrow.

funny,

Today started off poorly. I felt like crap, stuffed up, coughing, head ache, not the way I like kicking things off. But after a hot shower with new shampoo, a tooth brush sesh with a new toothbrush, everything changed. Not working rules as long as you don’t mind having no paychecks coming your way only weeks before the most expensive time of year. Whatever. So after washing the stink off me, I make breakfast, and watched The Price is Right. Basic routine. I only got to see the showcase showdown. Two girls were on it. One was tiny and quiet, didn’t show any emotion, just sat behind her booth and stared blankly at Drew the whole time. The other was this really awkward looking blonde girl, she was so excited, but im pretty sure she had never watched an episode of the show before. She didn’t understand how the showcase worked and i think she accidently passed on the first one. It was a good choice though, just a dinning room, tv, and piano. But she was so stoked on every prize, you could hear her excitedly whisper every prize back to herself, she was jumping and crying and couldn’t keep herself together. Entertaining for sure. The second show case was a bit better, I would have been pretty bummed if it were mine. Video camera, computer, trip to South Africa, not bad, but Price is Right can do better. This showcase had a bonus prize though, IF you won, you get a walk on role as an extra for The Bold and The Beautiful. The girl lost her head. Crying, laughing, jumping, looking for her friends, screaming random words, she couldn’t keep it together. It looked more like Saturday Night Live then Price Is Right. The two girls guess the price of their showcase, crazy girl ended up winning with a $5000 difference because the other girl was over by like $200. While that show was awesome, I watched the Bold and the Beautiful after to see if she was on it. I didn’t see her. It was all a scam to make me watch a crap daytime soap.

Anyway, so that was awesome. But the clincher of what made this day awesome. I got mail.

the best.

Today.

sleep till 11.
breakfast, leftover casserole.
shovel driveway, sore back.
mario cart, 150cc champ!
check mail, order new CDs
46 bones later.
fight with iPod, fixed.
put up xmas lights?….tomorrow.
play tecmo superbowl with joel
watch csi and hockey.

now, watching hockey, listening to music, smelling magnolia scented candle.
mutli tasking? not really.

Tomorrow?

breakfast at the range.
i’ll get the usual.
bacon, eggs (over easy)
hash browns, deep fried
brown toast
coffee. please.
hang xmas lights.
shovel? likely.
kill the day.

unemployment.

not all bad.

Last week i had the best day i have had in a long time.

I have this memory, it might even just be an old dream, i honestly cant even be sure. Me and my old neighbor are skating on the lake in our backyard, there was no snow yet. So we didn’t need to shovel, we had a full frozen lake all to ourselves. We spent hours and hours skating around this frozen lake. Its either one of the best days, or best dreams of my life.
But last week i had a chance to live that dream, or relive that moment. We had a few really cold days here but it hadn’t snowed yet. I grabbed the axe, walked down to the lake, gave it a few good chops, no water. Sold. I called up a friend and we spent a couple hours skating up and down the lake like Mystery Alaska. Back and forth, weaving all over, passing the puck around. It just happened to be the nicest day we have had in weeks to, only about -2. sweats and a sweater. A pretty perfect day if you ask me. The ice was so clear i could even see a few golf balls stuck in the mud that we had shot down there last summer.

anyway, the very next day we got 5 or 6 inches of snow, and i spent a few ours shoveling the drive way. a fair trade.

peace

Yooooo!

i didn’t forget that i had this, i just couldnt remember my password and i lost the piece of paper i wrote it on. whatever. back on track now. i found my password paper under my bed while i was moving things around the other day.

so, i havent written in a long time. here is what you suckers missed. (in random order)

1.  drove around BC for a week, love that place.
2. went to winnipeg, no choice of my own.
3. said a final good-bye to someone i love.
4. watched my bro marry a pretty sweet girl.
5. went to regina 3 or 4 times to make up for going to winnipeg.
6. saw the riders open the season 6-0.
7. made some sweet new friends, and said bye to some old ones for a while.

It was a really strange summer. Without being to forward, ill try and let you in on it a bit.
Pretty early on i got some news that still haunts me and to this day hasn’t really settled in my mind. The person that built my family, and taught me more then my mind is capable of understanding was sick. Really? A tough thing to hear, even tougher to try and grasp and make real. The weeks following were a spiral. “She will be fine”, “She will be healed”, “This isn’t real”, “This will pass”. My thoughts didn’t know what to think, my heart didn’t know how to feel. It didn’t get any better before it ended. The news kept coming, and it was rarely good. Time kept getting shorter, and unexpected trips were frequent. Seeing her in a hospital bed made the monster a bit more real. My mind wasn’t built to handle those kinds of situations. I don’t know if anyones is, but i know mine’s not. I think about this lady every day, and i try to smile.

Brittany, Shlucas, 2e, and me went for a drive. We drove a lot, covered a lot of ground. Some of the most beautiful ground to boot. It started in Edmonton, and ended there to. But between the start and the end we went to Vancouver, Victoria, Tofino, and everywhere along the roads the connect them. We saw some friends, some tall trees, some water, some whale, some mountains and their goats. I was happy the whole time, but wish it was longer.

I hung out in Regina with my brothers. Good times all around. I really don’t think its possible to hang out with them and not have a great time. Hours of video games, visiting them at work because we cant wait a few hours till theyre home, football in the park, broken toes, ripped sweaters, and all.

I loved my life since the last time i blogged. My pants still fit the same but i think i grew a lot, or at least got a glimpse of how much growing i need to do. There was a lot of new feelings and experiences, and even though i would take back the loss if i could, i still feel like this summer changed my life, and even though she isn’t here to teach me anymore, im still learning from her.

ill try and keep this thing warm through the winter,

today i saw 2 guys fighting downtown.
then i went to buy the new means cd.
i think i am going to stop buying my music locally.
they only brought in one copy, i asked a month ago to make sure they have mine for today.
morons.
so i got it on itunes.
it shakes me to the core. so good.
i also got new headphones. quality.
me and britt just went for coffee, she had tea, i had nothing.
lastnight me and brianne finished season 2 of Friday Night Lights.
its great.
If anyone wants to watch it, i can help you out. 
tomorrow i am going to regina.
i am stoked and scared. a weird feeling.
it has been a hard few months for everyone i know,
i have been entirely and completely lost in my own thoughts.
not knowing how to feel or what to say, what to think or do. 

if your in regina, see you soon.

im pretty sure pitty wins it.

its hard to fall asleep lately. the lake behind my house is melting and i think every seagull in town calls it home these days. they like to squawk all night, keeping me up later then id like to be. also, the sun doesn’t like going down anymore. its 10:21 pm and its still pretty light out. hard to adjust.
but, both of those annoyances mean that summer is close. and im alright with that. i havent had to wear my coat for over a week now, and there is only small spots of snow left on the lawn, and the huge pile at the bottom of the driveway.
hockey playoffs are about half over. i wont comment on montreal incase nic reads this. Im just that good a friend.  i picked Pitt at the start from the East, i didn’t really care about the West but i figured Anaheim would have put together a better showing than they did. and as long as the wings don’t win Im happy. the Stars are starting to do it for me though. Morrow is a gem. even though its late, ill just throw this out there, Im thinking a Stars Penguins final. anyone with me? i don’t like to brag but i did predict the Giants winning the Super Bowl. just so you know. me and Conan O’Brien were the only ones.
anyways. craps good with me for those who care. home is sweet. everyone is back or will be back from school soon. i saw a fox downtown today. i ordered  couple new cds, Advent and This Is Hell, and even a new book, Of Mice and Men. i have some new shirts and a belt and a sweater in the mail coming my way. im still waiting for my taxes, the wanker at H&R told me 7 days and its been almost 2 weeks. my mind has gotten a little softer the last few weeks with playoffs being on. but im determind to start getting out more since its warming up. mom makes fruit salad a lot. i love that. darla makes mom buy pulp-free orange juice, not cool. the family is out of town this weekend for a wedding in calgary. party at my house, you can all come. its getting late now, even kind of dark. the birds are still going crazy but what can you do.

hope your all doing well.

.